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Fashion, Thoughts

The Fear

January 30, 2019

It has been some time since I’ve sat down and written anything of substance. I’ve struggled with how inspiration can come to you at the oddest of times; such as when you’re on the run or just about to hop out a taxi – or on a night out when you’d much rather be home, snuggling up in your own introverted world. This is why I keep my ‘notes’ phone application handy and why the contents of my handbag almost always include three tiny black books – one for quick writing inspiration, one for quick sketches, and another which serves the purpose of a diary (making up for my awful recollection of plans and important events).

Today, I decided to dedicate some of my evening to update this blog and summarise the happenings of these past three weeks. I have been booking a few weekend getaways (which you will get to see all about in the coming months) and creating content in most of my spare time. I have been writing all day, everyday – pieces I could never perceive as thought-provoking or even the slightest bit worthy of one’s attention. They have not been creative, but rather, technical and monotonous. They have hardly been my own creations, but really just fitting in to the requirements of others. It all tends to happen when you get sucked up into a working routine, so I have been searching for ways to ensure more of my time is dedicated to creative writing, and not solely the reporting of news – as really, my greatest fear is routine, and enemy being comfort.

& most importantly, I’ve been drawing. Less than I’d have hoped to have time for, but I am satisfied with the ways in which my inspiration has seamlessly flowed over these few weeks.

More people have recently asked or recommended that I share the works I usually keep to myself; these are the lengthy, controversial writings hidden away on my hard drive or drawings that live on my sketchpad. These people aren’t wrong, really – but summoning up the courage to make my thoughts public is no easy task. I’ve mentally conjured every excuse possible – from a lack of time to practice and provide work of a high enough standard, to simply the fear of being criticised. Fear can really be quite the distraction, can’t it? Yet I realise I am quite fortunate to have a platform like this one in which my thoughts can be shared unapologetically… so watch this space for some changes in content I’ll soon be implementing.

Natalya Vukovic