I’ve chased passion in my relationships for as long as I can remember. Nights fuelled by far too many glasses of wine that lead to the most emotional and riveting conversations, lustful encounters that shake you to the core, tense conversations that cause a quickening heartbeat and follow with the most euphoric feeling when all is resolved. I have prioritised all the ups and downs that often accompanied relationships. I’ve yearned for excitement, even enjoying the inevitable pain that followed. And in a way, I’d still argue that relationships require some kind of excitement – but it has taken me years to realise that all that is chaotic, is not to be mistaken for passion. A lack of stability isn’t passionate. Emotions that fluctuate by the minute are not tantamount to passionate relationships. The relationships we often mistake as passionate are the ones that breed mistrust, overthinking and a culminating anxiety. Only in stable relationships have I come to realise that few things are more wonderful than the serenity the right pairing brings along, that the life-sucking relationships I had previously experienced were actually not passionate; they were simply addictive and exhausting. As elite daily put it, “intensity doesn’t always have to be tumultuous”.
Relieving myself from that chaotic pattern was part of my personal growth. As a writer and artist, chasing extreme emotions has long been a bad habit of mine. It’s inspiring, it makes for a good story and brings out the best in my creations. But now? Finding the beauty in simplicity has never rang truer to me.