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Thoughts

May 20, 2018

I find myself yearning for times gone by, times I have taken for granted – So much so that guilt devours every ounce of me. I am left to wonder what could be or what could have been, but time has surpassed my every hope.
I question which of us fell victim to the other, if any at all. In an experience so fast-paced and deliberate, I had never thought my feelings would prove so intense, but yet they did – and consumed my every thought along the way. It is awfully unfortunate that the human mind fails to recollect any wrongdoings but rather, routinely dismisses any bout of pain. But pain does not show up for no reason; it invites and almost always, guarantees change.

And so today I refuse to walk in, in fear of remembering you in the scented air – That same scented air which once repulsed me now revives my every instinct. Isn’t life just an unending cascade of irony?
The notion of time feels surreal, passing us by faster than I will ever be able to comprehend or deem fair in moments like this one, moments in which our story feels it has yet to reach the point of completion – But then again, I have always been a dreamer. I ponder, had it been none other than a carefully-constructed blunder hidden under guilt-stained sheets and dimly-lit rooms? But then I realise, that an end to all things great is followed by the inevitable symptoms of withdrawal, those being my thoughts.

Timing has been both our virtue and our vice, but only it will tell – So I cease to try, and instead I linger on in defiance of distance – For you are whom I gravitate towards.

Natalya Vukovic